


RuPaul's Frack Race: A Passionate Love Story

by kazoo_kin



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Tragedy, fracking, mine-related death, mine-related incident, rupaul is a war criminal, rupaul owns a fracking empire, underpaid drag queens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:08:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24624517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kazoo_kin/pseuds/kazoo_kin
Summary: RuPaul's Fracking Emporium employs 12 drag queens a year on less than minimum wage to discover the champion of fracking. In the competition's twelfth year, Aiden Zhane, a young goffik queen with big goffik dreams, enters the competition with the intent of winning, but she might just discover love with a certain New York queen along the way......
Relationships: Brita Filter/Aiden Zhane, Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd, RuPaul Charles/Fracking
Comments: 15
Kudos: 27





	RuPaul's Frack Race: A Passionate Love Story

**Author's Note:**

> rupaul's fracking empire is set in the uk, don't ask why 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏  
> give kudos if you want to see aiden and brita passionately make out live and legally in the fracking mines

Today was the day, thought Aiden Zhane as she looked up at the most wonderful building she had ever seen. A large, stony palace loomed above her, like the castle from Disneyland Paris but a bit fucked up. Although the stony concoction was made of stone, every inch of the gorgeous atrocity had been coated in brilliant pink glitter – the non-biodegradable kind, designed specially for baby turtles to choke on. Atop of the glorious metal turret was an enormous funnel which puffed out foul-smelling smoke, a bit like the cherryade vape she’d bought off a drug dealer outside her primary school.

This was a house of wonders that Aiden had dreamed of since she was a little girl. Rupaul’s Fracking Emporium. And now she was here for an audition! The thought filled her stomach with moths, not butterflies, because although she was nervous she was also a goth.

In fact, anyone could see this, as she was dressed in her best formal goffik attire: a skintight black latex onesie covered by a chic red short-sleeved swirly jacket, 9 inch black stilettos with tiny ghosts on them, and the spookiest cobweb earrings in the (under)world. Her pixie cut wig was the same shade of black as the coal mines from the Hunger Games, which contrasted with her pale skin which was the colour of skulls.

The young drag queen had also done her makeup all goffik for the equasion, with fenty shade 100 foundation mixed with unicorn piss to give it a spooky sheen. She had used the new Jerry Star Cremation Pallette to get the perfect smoky eye with racially insensitive undertones. Her crimson lipstick was handmade using crushed rose petals and the blood of virgins. She completed the entire stunning ensemble with lashes made from actual spiders’ legs.

There was no way that Rupaul wouldn’t hire such a stunning goffik queen to be a part of her frackening force, Aiden thought to herself as she teetered towards the doorway, one 9-inch-stillettoed footstep at a time. And yet, she somehow couldn’t stop her latex-clad knees from knocking together as her shaking legs struggled to continue through her shy nerves. Nevertheless, she made it to her destination. The shiny, glitter-encrusted glass doors slid open with a swish and she stepped inside, steeling herself with determination and a quick line of cocaine that she’d hidden up her sleeve. 

The lobby of Rupauls’ Fracking Emporium was just as sickening as the outside. Pictures of the Queen of Frack herself covered every inch of the wall, and the floor was literally a runway. Every single one of her pop hits blasted simultaneously, resulting in a wave of manufactured autotuned headache which instantly filled Aiden’s ears. Staggering slightly from this sudden musical attack, she wobbled forward down the runway and towards the front desk, where a familiar voice greeted her.

“HAHAHAHA! Eat shit, pale bitch!”

Aiden gasped with glee. It was Bianca Del Rio, winner of Rupaul’s Fracking Championships Round 6! Bianca had been an inspiration to young Aiden ever since she was shot out of the womb, reminding her that you didn’t need a fashion sense to be in with a chance of entering the competition. 

“Well? Don’t just stand there gawking. What the fuck daya want?”

Aiden blushed through her fenty shade 100 foundation because she was shy.

“I—um., I…. I’m here for the a-a-auditions? My name is A-Aiden Zhane….,”

Bianca looked offendedly at her. “🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡”

Aiden was unsure how Bianca managed to literally say the clown emoji out loud, but she smiled faintly nonetheless. 

“Didn’t you hear me? I said take the first left, then keep going forward, then up the spiral staircase to the right, along the eleganza stage, then down into the dungeon trapdoor. Dumb bitch.”

Aiden blushed again (she’s shy remember) and scuttered off like a spider with two legs. Bianxa simply laughed at her with a menacing chuckle. “Hope you lose PAHAHAHAHA”.

After taking the first left, going forward, climbing the spiral staircase, missing the eleganza stage and getting a bit lost, then finding the right trap door eventually, Aiden made it to the audition waiting room. Outside she saw a whole load of other drag queens, many of whom she recognised from the hellpit of Instagram. There was one queen whose bedazzled outfit resembled one of the ravens from the Tower of London, which had tried to peck Aiden when she went there on a school trip in year 2. Another was very tall pirate with long limbs, small knockers and scary shark eyes. And then there was.......

........the most beautiful woman aiden had ever seen. She had nutella brown hair that fell from her head in soft waves. Her dress was tightly fitted, showing Aiden every beautiful curve, and its striking leopard print and hot pink combo brought out the warm honey tones of her perfectly smoothened skin. She was obviously as fun-loving and adventurously cheeky as aiden, as she held a sparkling mimosa cocktail in one pink-gloved hand.

Aiden continued to stare at this beautiful Polynesian princess, gawking....... until finally this mysterious woman noticed.

"What the fuck are you looking at???? Bitch, I'm from New York!"

Yet again, Aiden blushed through her shad 100 fenty foundation (shes SHY!!!) and looked away, searching desperately for the nearest chair. In the end, she took a seat next to a quirky anime girl with tears in her eyes.

The anime girl grabbed aiden by the tit and pulled her into a massive hug. She started to cry, leaking moisture onto Aiden’s sickening silk jacket. Aiden didn’t know if tears would fuck up the fabric but it might look edgy so she stuck with it. As a shy introvert, she just sat there, awkwardly patting the heartbroken anime protagonist. 

When the girl finally pulled away from the godawful hug, she sniffled and held out a snotty palm. “I’m Rock’m, nice to meet you! Are you here for the auditions?” She said, in a scarily chipper voice.

“I-I- yes. Yes I am.”

“Omg this is super intense, like I literally don’t want anything more than being the next fracking champion! Who do you think is going to get through auditions and into the fracking championship????”

But before Aiden could reply, there was a booming voice that sounded a bit like god or gay jesus. It was….. RUPAUL.

“AIDEN ZHANE. Start your engines. It is time….. for your audition.”

**Author's Note:**

> WILL MISSS ZHANE MAKE IT THROUGH THE AUDITION PHASE AND JOIN THE FRACKING RANKS? please give kudos and attention for part 2 which i'll probably write anyway 🙏🙏🙏🙏


End file.
